Personal Best

General, Reckons

So you’ll know, if you’ve watched Quick Drink or Redux that I can put a bottle of White Shiraz to bed in 36 seconds (with a pause for breathing) but it turns out that if John hooks me up with a bottle of rosé, and Karl eggs me on, I can actually do a 750ml bottle in about 20 seconds flat. Am I delighted with my awesomely inappropriate performance? Why yes, yes I am. Am I gutted that this time wasn’t on video? Well, yes, that too. Everything is better with video (let’s be honest now).

Speaking of Redux – shortly after I published it, I forced a couple of friends to watch it while I was in the room, which was super super weird – I’m used to seeing my videos in a very particular context: 23″ wide on an LCD at home, and all by myself. So 46″ wide in someone else’s living room, is something strange.

So now imagine what it’s like in a room with 160 of your peers, video projected on the wall out of the blue. Here’s a hint: it’s really weird. I’m also glad it happened, people were actually laughing. (Not everyone, granted.) But, wow. People, in a large group, enjoying my stuff.  And that was tonight.  I loved it.  And I wished I’d edited more of my talking  out, replacing it with beedle-beedle-beedle.  (I love beedle-beedle-beedle.  I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.)

My output is your input. If you know what I mean.

I produce. You consume.


Consume me.

Enjoy it all, my little internet darlings.

P.P.S. In my pished state I’m having trouble working out if I should, well, you know, whatever. But I know I’m pished, and I know that means I can’t really think that clearly right now. What do you think? Should I? I really just don’t know. These days I’m not sure if I can read ‘the signs’ or not. (I’m sure that once, very briefly, I was really good at reading girls. Now though… Well… Far out, talk about opaque. Remember how completely FAIL that other thing went? No, that’s right, you don’t – ‘cos it turned out I was just pissed, and my infatuation was actually nothing more than inebriation.) Actually, now that I come to think of it, mentioning these things here seems to utterly doom them.  Let’s pretend I didn’t say any of this stuff and just focus on the drinking, ok?  Ok.