Such a Sleep Disorder

I have a problem.
Now, while I’m mostly not aware of it, poor little red is – I do things in my sleep.

  1. Sleep war-play.
    • In my dream I thought I was defending against a grenade attack. In reality it turned out I’d jumped over to the side of the bed and pulled the mattress up to form a shield.
  2. Sleep running the hell away from something.
    • I don’t know what I was running away from, or towards, but it turned out that what I was sleeping, I was doing. I jumped up from bed – dove over little red, slammed through the door into our closet, ran in there and shut the door behind me. When I woke up, standing up in the closet, I felt a bit strange. As you would.
  3. Sleep scaring little-red.
    • In my dream I think I could see ‘something’ doing ‘whatever somethings do’, in reality I was pointing at the ceiling and asking little red, very insistently "can you see that?!"
  4. Sleep laughing.
    • I guess something really funny must have been happening, I definitely remember having a weird dream with my friend James Brown and his young ladyfriend Heloise, something about Stella Artois, then James needing more alcohol. Whatever it was that actually made me laugh – I did in fact laugh. Out loud. Snickering and giggling. Enough to wake up little-red. Poor thing.
  5. Sleep talking.
    • "Stop it! Stop it!" I say, this wakes up the sleeping little red, "What?" she says, "Blah blah blah nonsense!", I reply… "Shut up, lie down!" she commands, so I do.

August 29, 2002
So last night I had a bunch of dreams, including one where Jay Lagaia came over with his wife and kids. My car got stolen and he was real sympathetic. Later on, some girl stuck an electrode in her mouth and turned up the juice. So, you get the idea that it was all very weird, yes?

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