More police; parents suddenly take a greater interest in road safety.

The police came back after the media were done, blocked off the road again, and started taking measurements of all the debris, taking photos and such.

Senior sergent taking photos of scene.

I pointed out where the blood was on the road (it still hadn’t been marked) and the nice young lady officer duly marked and noted it, measuring it relative to the other debris.

Newly marked blood spatter, and measuring out the road.

We’ve been gardening a lot today, we’re having some more friends over for dinner tonight, so we’ve been able to watch everyone going by, it’s quite funny how so many of the parents with children are being really obviously careful, one woman with her daughter looking left and right and left and right and left and right then crossing by the police car, even though the road was closed and she was crossing by road cones and a police car.

I caught this lady having trouble getting her son to adhere to her new road safety regime, he was not keen on having his hand held, she sorted him out in the end.

Garth, police, and a naughty boy in the background.

That’s Garth, the little boy’s grandfather, by the senior sergeant.

The day after.

After last nights hit and run incident, our little corner of suburbia has turned into a popular place for journalists and gawkers, the (really nice and professional and gigantic) senior officer from last night did a standup in front of the kid’s house this afternoon, TV3 were there before I noticed anyone else, TVNZ came last, even after the radio and newspaper journos, and left first.  I think if TVNZ wants to know why their news viewership is dropping, they should think carefully about what being last on scene and first to leave means.

Journalists surround police officer.

Claire gave a quick interview to a nice young woman from Radio Live (which I think is Radio Pacific in drag, but who can be certain), then I did a standup with Alastair Wilkinson from TV3, unfortunately the format of television news meant I wasn’t able to be compelling or entertaining, and he kept having to ask me the same question and emphasised that I be as succinct as possible.  It turns out I’m not great at being both succinct and interesting, but as far as I saw I was the only witness willing to be interviewed, so I guess I’ll probably be on 3 News tonight.

Alasatair Wilkinson from TV3, in the background is the nice young lady from Radio Live.

It sounds like the police don’t have a super lot to go on, there must be hundreds, if not thousands of grey eighties four doors on Auckland’s roads, and how many white people do you think are driving them?  With any luck, one of the bastards semi-friends will see the damage on his car and do the right thing.

We spoke to the little boys grandfather, Garth, and he was very grateful that we were able to comfort his little boy last night, I told him I did what I could.  And it really wasn’t much, all I could do was stop people trying to move the boy and talk to him, so that’s what I did.  Dylan took his pulse ‘cos he could do that.  There were a lot of people on the street, many of them just watching, but a lot were helping, trying to make traffic go around us carefully, and so forth.

Blood on the road.

I guess the police missed the blood stains when they were marking out all the impact debris last night, I don’t really know how they use what they’ve got to recreate the accident, what they circled with spray paint just seems to arbitrary, why circle this bit of glass and not that bit?  And was the bit you circled moved by the throng of people on the road before you arrived?

Accident debris road markings.

Sometimes police action really sucks.

I spent 3 hours in the garden yesterday afternoon, mowing and edging and tidying and such, and then got back into it all again this morning, clambering up the pohutukawa to remove some of the climbing vines that were infesting the poor thing, ended up taking out a huge pile of the stuff, I mean, really, the pile was over a metre high and practically filled the whole BBQ area.

There was way more light coming through afterwards, but Claire wanted more, so I got out my trusty hand saw and excised a couple of the less healthy and more shading limbs, the afternoon was looking pretty good, so we decided to have a little BBQ, the first of the new season in fact – usually we don’t start until Labour Weekend, but you know how it is when you want over cooked meat.

We invited Dyland, Melanie & little Harrison, then kicked off into the city to visit Auckland Fish Market (which we’ve found to be way superior to Seamart) and the supermarket.

Got home a bit late to find Dylan and Melanie already sitting there waiting on the doorstep, which was pretty naughty of us.

Anyway, long story cut a little bit shorter, we cleaned the BBQ up after a year of neglect, cooked everything up, got a nice salad, shishkebobs of delicious big chunks of fresh tuna and salmon, chorizo, lamb chops, lemon juice steamed asparagus, and so forth.  All good.  We had a lovely meal, with the patio heater running, George hanging around begging for Sausage, and Edward dropping in now and then to attack whatever caught her eye.

Before jumping into dessert we decided to play another game Claire picked up – giant pick-up-sticks, believe it or not – and apart from a dispute over how to drop the suckers, it was actually more fun than you might have expected.

I’d just finished my second turn when we heard a loud smashing noise on the street, so we looked out over the hedge and saw a car tearing ass around the corner and down the street, sounded like he’d hit a parked car, so I looked where I thought that must have happened and couldn’t see anything, so then I thought he must have chucked a bottle out of his window as he was driving – which is something I’ve known mortard hoons to do before – so as we moved towards the front of the property we were looking for the that.

Instead of seeing broken glass spread down the road, we saw something much, much worse – a tiny little child, age around 3 or 4, lying face down on the road in front of our house.

I shouted to Claire to phone an ambulance, and Dyland and I hauled ass out the gate and ran over to the child on the ground – along with people coming from other properties around the intersection – I dropped to my knees and put my face in front of the kid – no sign of breathing, eyes shut, no moving, nothing.  Other people were crowding around, I said "open your eyes, can you look at me?" and I thought I could see a slight parting of the eyelids, so I said it again, this poor little baby had been hit incredibly hard, tumbled along the road, and had obvious head injuries, with large bulges in his forehead, bleeding – but not a lot.

Dylan was on his cellphone talking to 111, and Claire was on the cordless as well, giving descriptions of the car (grey mid-to-late eighties Honda 4 door), the little boy (no really close relatives seemed to be around, but his Uncle had turned up and told us his name was Joseph, up to that point everyone had actually thought he was a little girl) was slowly starting to come back to conciousness, opening his eyes a little bit more when I was talking to him, there was a great big guy there trying to make sure he didn’t move to much, and I kept saying "just lie there, don’t move, you’re going to be alright," Dylan took his pulse and said it was so weak he could hardly find it, the boy started to whimper and choke and moved his legs around, trying to roll over, Melanie had grabbed a blanket, so he was very carefully draped with that, and a towel was gently placed under his head.

The little boy was obviously terribly injured, and when he closed his eyes and sighed, I was afraid he’d just died before my eyes.  This is really not something you want to have happen.  Thankfully he opened his eyes again when I talked to him some more.

Eventually an ambulance arrived, and at pretty much the same time the first police patrol car arrived, so I went over to give a statement – and recognised the officer as an old schoolmate, John Brown – I gave him all the details I knew, about when things happened, what I saw, description of the car, and the driver (I only had a brief glimpse of the driver as he hauled ass off down the road – not even pausing or looking in his rear vision mirror), it looked like a white man, maybe in his 20s with blonde or light brown hair, reasonably slim, possibly wearing a check shirt, and with longish hair (not shoulder length, but longer than most) which might mean it was a woman, but who knows.

Police cars blocking off the intersection.

While I was talking to Constable John, Joseph was being checked over by the paramedics, 3 from the ambulance and one of those small car’ish ambo’s arrived as well (along with a bunch of other patrol cars and a motorcycle) he started to cry a lot when they put a collar around his neck, and beat his legs, so presumably they weren’t broken, though one of them had looked quite bent when he’d been lying face down.  But who knows.

Officers checking crash debris.

The police closed the road off, and moved everyone out of the way while they marked the road out with spraypaint, noting all the debris, trying to get a clear picture of where everything had happened, and once I’d given and signed my statement, I chatted to some neighbours who’d walked up the street to have a stickybeak.

Friendly neighbour having a look at all the commotion.

Eventually, the police were done taking statements and marking off the road and I lent one of our yard brooms (which was leaning up against the fence, having been used earlier today) to one of the officers to sweep broken glass off the street.

Dyland and Claire under the blossom tree chatting.

Claire, Dylan (with Harrison in baby-bopper mode) and Melanie, hung out while I took a few snaps.  In a way I wish I had photos of everything that happened earlier, it would help express how horrible the whole thing was. Of course, as there’s just no tasteful way that could possibly happen, you get to hear my adulterated thoughts.

After I’d taken my snaps, and virtually all of the police were gone, the senior seargent (or whatever) came over and spoke to us briefly, he said that when the ambulance arrived, the child was in their most serious category for people that are actually alive – but in the time he was in the car, they stabilised him up to their second most grave category.

Anyway, we tidied up a bit and went inside: it was time for dessert, vanilla icecream and delicious strawberries.

Dylan finished first, I finished second.

Dylan looking out the door.

Instead of strawberries, Harrison had delicious camera straps.

Harrison chewing the camera strap.

Parents, please don’t let your kids play on the street.  Also, teach your kids to take responsibility for their actions, and be careful drivers.

The New, The Noodles, The Dodgeymansloski.

You may have noticed that I changed a couple of things with this site, is it better?  I’m not sure, but it’s easier for me to maintain.  There’s definitely some tweaking still required.

I hope you enjoy my new project The International Noodle Review. It’s a joke, if you don’t get it.  But it’s also lunch.

I’ve got another couple of projects in the works, one of them is a bit of a risk for me though, because while everything contained within it will be entirely factual, the person involved is, in my humble opinion, a complete fucksack, and might like to try to gag me with vexatious law suits or similar.

It’s a project to warn the world of a given person, and tell them to be cautious around him like the plague (which I’m sure he doesn’t carry), really an effort to allow people to google him, and see what they can expect if they have any dealings with him, like, oh, I don’t know, letting him rent their spare room, or ahh, ‘buy’ a product with credit, use their toilet paper (dear me, so childish!), &c.

The day the George stood still…

Our good little boy managed to munge one of his toes, and twist the nail on his pointer ‘finger’ from his right paw through a full 90 degrees, he was bleeding everywhere, but in good spirits.

We took him to the emergency vet, and to resolve it he had to have a general anaesthetic administered, he’s a bloody little fighter, he refused to lie down until his legs buckled, and then he refused to close his eyes. My battling little buddy.

The veterinarian then excised the nail and cauterised the wound.

George in the operating theatre.

There are other photos as well, George being knocked out, and comforted, and a close-up on the operating table.

$402 well spent, he’s up and around, and seems mostly okay, but pretty low, oh, and he now has a pretty blue bandage to try to chew off for the next couple of days.

Press the button, no button’s bad…

So we’ve started to watch Lost season 2, and it’s as weird-ass as you’d expect.  I sure am glad they’ve finally gotten into the bloody hatch, but I’m not sure what to think about the whole Desmond thing, brother.

I’m waiting to see more about the guys on the raft, was a bit surprised that they didn’t say anything about them at all – I want to know what’s going on with Jin, I love that guy.

Goodbye, Robert…

Rober, lying in state in the summer house.

Robert was our family cat for 16 years. On my mother’s return from Laos & Thailand, it was discovered that his health had taken a serious turn for the worse, the veterinarian’s opinion was that with the best medical care he would survive perhaps a couple of days. The decision was made to end his suffering, on Friday night Robert passed away peacefully while being cuddled by my mother.

His final resting place, in my mothers garden, is marked with a flower.

Robert's final resting place, marked with a flower.

We miss you Robert.

All shorties, all day…

So I’ve been told off for being mean about the camera work on Triangle TV’s Elect!

It turns out the person who I thought was doing it, well, wasn’t. And the person who was doing it didn’t have a lot of experience, and was working under very trying circumstances.

So let me just say, I’m sorry I cast aspersions on your French good name. I mean, except I didn’t use your name, or whatever. You know what I mean.

You’re still short. Shorty.

To take everyone’s mind off my rudeness, here is a cute baby photo:

International Cuterstar - Harrison Reeve, age 15 weeks.
Harrison Reeve (age 15 weeks), international cuterstar.

Look, I’m playful, not angry…

As part of my previous post I pretended to be angry – I’m not angry, I was just going for an effect. I’m actually really happy right now, I’d rather a lame duck government than a right-wing landslide. I’m also really busy with the business, and trying to figure out some expansion of my business empire.

If you haven’t read it already, just realise that I’m playing a role, and not actually annoyed or whatever, and read it in the spirit in which it was written, ok?

Also, forgive the insane bit at the end.

Election coverage, and results…

Right, to the election. Wasn’t that fun? Maybe not, but something of a relief, that it was over, that no one got an enourmous landslide.

Any party, from whatever part of the spectrum, that got too much of a mandate would just be dangerous, how ever much of a lefty I am, I’m also a lot of a libertarian (no ‘z’ on the end there, I must note) and parties which think they’ve been put there by God (or a large majority) will feel fine about smothering the populace in their own special blend of ideology.

Too much of anything, whether you like it or not, is a bad thing. Even cheeseburgers.

Now, the coverage on the night, we watched TV3 most of the evening, but we bounced around a little bit, I thought the TV3 panel format was great, and the speakers were pretty interesting (maybe not Deborah Coddington, who I find to be equal measures of hot and disagreeable) I especially liked the poli.sci woman from Canterbury University, I don’t recall her name, and Michael Laws is always good value – but I don’t listen to him on Radio Live, so maybe everything he was saying he’s already said endlessly to the embitterment of everyone who doesn’t have the taste or intelligence to find their way all the way up the dial to National Radio.

What wasn’t so good about the coverage on TV3, was the graphics, no colour coding, sometimes full screen, but even then just charts rather than nice diagrams or overlays of parliament, or whatever – One had it all over them with the graphics.

But do you know who REALLY dropped the graphics ball? Triangle. Yes, their Elect! presentation, produced and directed and such by none other than my mate Dylan, had onscreen displays in the form of a felt tip pen hastily scrawled on torn out sheets of refill, and a stick up chart of the seats in the house with bits of coloured paper on them. But the worst thing about the presentation, and incredible as it might seem, was elsewhere, indeed the lighting was rubbish – the lighting on Ryan Sproull(presenter) was okay, but on the guests it was shocking, but you can live with that, the next thing on the list of oopsies was the sound, Dylan had to provide a bunch of his own gear (it sounds like Triangle really need to pick their game up a bit) including sound mixing desks and such like, and the sound was fuzzy and boomy, not nice. But that’s still not the worst thing, the worst thing, ignoring the quality of the quests, was the camera work. If it wasn’t out of focus (which it very often was) it was pointing in the wrong direction (cutting between cameras to find the hosts face half cut off, right at the bottom of the screen, for example), which is simply unacceptable for a television broadcast.

Lessons learned, I’d suggest:

  1. Get someone who has a fucking clue about framing a shot to operate the cameras, also eyes (to check for focus).
  2. Better microphones.
  3. Give your guests something to lean on / put their notes on. Ideally a table or desk with a covered front.
  4. Computer graphics, they’re not just a good idea, they’re the law. (I understand that this was the intention, but the software providing the graphics wasn’t behaving properly on the night.)
  5. Guests should include some more mainstream journalists, who are comfortable with speaking about current events / politics.
  6. The hosts suit should fit properly. Also, probably helps to be able to express yourself really quickly – good writer != good live interviewer. (I for example, would be a completely rubbish live interviewer.)
  7. If you’re thinking that a piece of paper with writing on it is a good idea, think again.

On the whole, I thought it was a great idea, but needed a couple more days of preperation, and maybe a couple of dollars spent on the set (alternatively, add another day to the preperation and get a SPONSOR.)

Back to the election though, and the result. Now, what do I think about it? Well, I already said I was relieved, let me just say it again – I’m really relieved that enough people ignored their greed and tried to vote for a better future for New Zealand.

I know I did.

Take it from me, one of many business owning, productive, mainstream voters – that also happens to be a lefty – Oh, if you think it’s amazing that there are lefties that aren’t gay / maori / bludgers: you’re a moron, and you should be banned from voting.

In other news:

  • Edward has a cold, which we’re pretty sure she got when she had her ovaries out – incidentally, stitches came out today, and she’s doing great.
  • Furikake still rocks my world (nearly every day for lunch.)
  • I’ve been reading some Peter Hamilton lately, and I’m liking the third book of the Reality Dysfunction trilogy muchly. (So far.)
  • I like that we drive past the Prime Minister’s house almost every time we go to get Wendy’s. The rocks. I love New Zealand.
  • When I mentioned Hit-and-Run Carpentry, I didn’t mean I’d been messing with political billboards.
  • I know, I was especially mean about my friends efforts on their little election night TV show, I didn’t really mean it. Now let me include another little diatribe here, I doubt anyone will read this copy here, and just skip to the list, so with that in mind, I kissed your mum, it was hot, she wanted to get into my pants, but I got cold feet and said we’d have to limit it to a dry hump:
    • They obviously needed more help, and I offered help a good week before things where put together and was ignored.
    • They’re clearly just bitter in the simple knowledge that I’m smarter & more creative than 75% of them.
      • Smarter than 94%.
      • More creative than 92%.
      • Better at maths than 14%.
    • I could have gotten a couple of legitimate journalists to go on the show – that is, not student journalists for Craccum.
    • I have roughly 100 * more business experience than 87.5% of them, and would probably have been able to get sponsorship for a better set (read:desks) given just a few days.
  • Bitter? Me? Fuck no.
  • Stop looking at me like that.
  • Fucking ants.
  • And here are a few words to mess up my rankings:
    • As you know, todays unseasonably bad weather included a strong wind – you could say it was a nasty blow job – and accompanied by an icey rain that seemed to squirt from the sky in bucket loads, splashing on the roof and dribbling over the gutters, spraying all over our faces and chests, penetrating right through our rubber coats and wet weather pants and gumboots, through our clothes soaking our damp underwear, we might as well have done it bareback or even completely naked, for all the use our raincoats proved, but we probably would have collapsed if we’d tried, so perhaps not. It was a longer and harder day than it should have been, and it’s my fault, I fucked up the pump installation last week and it was running really hot and steamy, so we had to tug the old one out and put an even bigger one in, in fact we were worried the new one wouldn’t fit into the tight hole, but we managed to shove it in there. Once we’d solved the pumping problem, we still had to straighten up the bent over supporting shafts for the gazebo we’re erecting around the hot tub, the gaping holes we bored into the firm, yet yielding, wet earth last weekend had filled up with a messy hot-chocolate looking sucking mud, so this week we rebored them, then filled each hole full of a load of hot, wet easicrete (and the post held upright in the middle of each hole by a supporting frame) – we thought of hiring one of those vibrator compactor things, but it turned out that it was a matter of only a few moments with a long rod to do it by hand and once the handjob was done you’d never know we hadn’t used the machine! We decided we’d done enough for the day, and after taking a hot golden shower to wash off all the sticky filth, we lay around in the tub until later in the evening when we used the money we’d saved on renting the hardcore machinery rental to order up a delivery of roast beef and potatoes – we were surprised when it was delivered by a bare breasted street prostitute wearing a ball gag, but didn’t complain – she really delivered, in fact it was so good we got her to deliver a nice hot lunch to us the next day!