Vacancy (2007)

What the hell just happened? Did you hear that?

Coming in at about 75 odd minutes – they claim 80 minutes, but 5 minutes of titles don’t get counted unless you pay for your movies by the foot, and I certainly don’t – is another one of those ‘car breaks down at night in Nowhereville, USA, expected/unexpected hilarity ensues‘ thrillers.

It was just all so very obvious. Everything is telegraphed from a mile away. “Oh, you mean the car broke down? At night in the dark? But that nice creepy man in the closed gas station said he’d fixed the engine, how could this be?”

And let me just add, he’s behind the door. Yes, the door, look behind it. No the door. The only door in the room, don’t you see how conveniently it’s opened against the wall there? He’s behind it! Yeah, the door! No, not the shower curtain, the door!! Look behind the doooooooooor!!! KILL THE PROTAGONIST NOW PLZ. THX.

Did I say was? Well, then the whole damn movie turns into a –

[fade to black and roll credits]