Oh, if you insist.
Category: General
Dawn Service
[flv:https://morganavery.nz/media/dawnservice.flv 320 240]
Trying out a little Canon minidv camera. I don’t like it.
Please forgive the jumpiness for a few seconds around hymn time.
Wedding.
[flv:https://morganavery.nz/media/wedding.flv 320 240]
May contain traces of nipples.
Your Favourite Ever No Video Video. (I bet.)
[flv:https://morganavery.nz/media/sick.flv 320 240]
My mucus production is incredible.
The Monkey is Unlucky/Lucky.
Sitting here, avoiding unpacking boxes of books or setting up my main computer, just reading the web and eating an apple when I slip with the knife and drive it with force into my finger.
"Oh shit!", thought I.
Quickly putting down knife and apple, wondering if I have any plasters in the house (I think the answer is no) I inspect my finger and discover a tiny speck of blood – I’d managed to stab myself directly in the quick of the middle finger on my left hand. So. Pretty much in the finger nail, which is apparently impervious to fruit knives.
So, for today, I am Unlucky/Lucky.
The End of The Monkey.
It is with a heart heavy with sorrow that I inform you that the-monkey.net is no longer going to be updated.
… From Balmoral. It will now be updated from Grafton instead.
This is the last Balmoral update.
Booyyaaaaa.
Tedious but effective, and perhaps a little disturbing right at the end there.
[flv:https://morganavery.nz/media/concrete.flv 320 240]
Everything is changing.
Details will follow once everything has shaken out. Probably a couple of weeks at least.
Crank
Another Jason Statham action movie, released in cinemas late last year, and coming to DVD any day now.
Crank sees Statham’s character Chev (a low life hitman, trying to get out of the game to be with his dizzy/hot girlfriend Eve) poisoned with a slow acting Chinese-made synthetic toxin, the only remedy? Adrenaline. Oh, also every pill he can get his hands on, cocaine off a bar toilet floor, a hefty dose of Red Bull product placement, lots of shooting and bare-assed-hospital-gown-police-motorcycle-jacking, and high-speed car chasing through a mall, blow job (no happy ending) while being pursued by crazy Latino gangsters shooting the hell out of his girlfriend’s car fun.
Plenty of great characters, but I especially liked Dwight Yoakam as Statham’s doctor.
Much better than Statham’s 2002 vehicle The Transporter (the longest BMW commercial you’ll ever see), but perhaps that isn’t saying much. If you can’t completely suspend your disbelief, you’ll hate it.
Definitely low brow. Definitely a good time. Definitely urinary sphincter.
Now with added ( o Y o ).
The Marine
Starring John Cena, The Marine is being released in cinemas March 1st, probably to close again by about the 4th. If I’d bothered to check iMDB, which rated this stinker 4.2 out of 10, before watching my "review copy", I never would have bothered with this awful movie.
You see, this is a WWE movie, and John Cena is a professional wrestler. (He actually does a good acting job, considering – not nearly as wooden as you might expect, but this is faint praise indeed.)
The only even remotely good thing about it was Anthony Ray Parker’s role as a psychopathic criminal, and he only counts as a good thing because #1 his character’s name is Morgan and #2 he lived and worked in NZ for such a long time.
Really just don’t. I’m not kidding. Not even if it’s free.