# Pedometer

[pee-do-mee-ter]
Ã¢â‚¬â€œnoun

1. The distance at which parents consider their young offspring safe from the nearest pedophile. Unusual among SystÃƒÂ¨me International units of measure in that the pedometer varies depending on the material through which you measure, a pedometer is equal to approximately 1.828 meters (or 6 feet) when measured through soil, or 55,758,006,000 meters when measured through the vacuum of space. Abbreviation: pedo
2. An instrument that gauges the distance to the nearest pedophile.

Also, British, paedometre.