Die Hard 4.0 (2007)

If you’ve heard what I’ve heard, then you’ve heard that this movie is complete shit. You’ve heard wrong.

It’s not shit, it’s the shit.

Sure, the technical stuff is all simplified to be more movie friendly, and some of it is just complete hooey – for instance, the cell network is down, so the kid hacks the phone to use a satellite network instead. Easy, I do that all the time. No, wait.

(Let’s not forget that even in a movie as techno-fantasy as The Matrix, Trinity used nmap when she hacked a network – P.S. how cool was that? Really cool, that’s how cool. Oh, you didn’t notice? Never mind.)

But here’s the thing: this is the best action movie I’ve seen all year and maybe the best Die Hard movie evaaaaar.

The opening action sequence was awesome, automatic weapons in small spaces are scary, and they do a fairly good job of showing the panicked scrabbling desperation of our protagonists as they frantically try get way from the guys with guns.

(What they didn’t show, and what movies never show, is that a bullet will go right through your fucking house. A fridge is not going to stop a bullet. A wall is not going to stop a bullet. Bits of plaster won’t chip off, you’ll just get guys on the other side of said wall falling over with smoking holes in their meat.)

We all know that McClane is going to get completely FUBAR, it’s one of the deals, his life is completely SNAFU… And so he does.

It doesn’t hurt that Cyril Raffaelli is one of the bad guys. He’s one of the coolest martial artist/stunt men in the world. Too bad he had to get minced.

Kevin Smith has a good role – as a dumptruck – no, I kid, he really challenges his acting chops this time by playing a fat fuck. I reckon he pulled it off. Guess he’s a method actor, huh? Too bad he didn’t get minced. (Would make a lot of sausages.) Nay, he still speaks in his acting voice (you know what I’m sayin’), but his role is actually pretty sweet. (Ignoring aforementioned photogenic version of hacking.)

What do I need to say about Bruce Willis? Not only is he a hot bald man, but he’s a complete bad-ass.

If you like a bit of action, you have to see this movie.

(Yeah, so I took the friendgirl to see this movie like two weeks ago, but for whatever reason – possibly I was movie-reviewed out after the festival – I never published to the site. Please forgive the Jackie Harvey’ing.)

7 thoughts on “Die Hard 4.0 (2007)

  1. Ohhhhh I so have to go – maybe I can persuade babysitters to do their thing this weekend and Dylan and I can go.
    And have dinner out.

    Dylan got told it wasn’t very good – I said there was no way it could be less than excellent.
    I am right, I just know it.

  2. I was told the same thing. I reckon that if you can let the hacking be a plot device instead of a technical guide, the movie is very good. If you can’t do that you won’t enjoy it. But in that case, you probably won’t enjoy many movies at all.

    (“An Elf befriending a Dwarf? AS IF THAT WOULD EVER HAPPEN, MR TOLKIEN!”)

    Anyway, it’s always a good idea to have dinner out with your sweetheart.

    (And if you can’t do that, have dinner out with Dylan. Amirite?)

  3. Yeah well if I took my sweetheart someone might see us and then Dylan might find out …..
    so I may as well take Dylan.

  4. He liked it too. I think the idea is to think of it in a “Die Hard” way – then you’re going to enjoy it!

  5. Seriously, there is some brain defect in those that think this movie is shit.

    These people seem to be going to see a movie they think is called “4.0” (or “Live Free and” if they’re in the US) or something, and completely missing the “Die Hard” in the title.

    It’s a fucking Die Hard movie, and it totally pulls it off. I was never totally convinced about Die Hard 3, it felt a little ‘Lethal Weapon’ to me, but this movie is Jon McLane getting really beaten up but completely kicking terrorist ass. It’s exactly what it should be.

    Surprisingly Cliff Curtis was good and it didn’t seem cringey watching him. And I thought Smith was great personally. Not traces of Silent Bob to be seen.

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