He’s a lovely little fellow, I was standing at the back stoop contemplating my impending demise when I noticed a little green stick sitting precariously on my environment changing Remuera tractor, I wasn’t fooled for more than .5 of a second though, pieces of tree don’t generally have 6 legs and a propensity to sway around in still conditions. Or look at you with tiny little beady eyes.
I grabbered him and stuffed him in my gob, as I understood that insects favour a nice warm and moist environment, like my underpants, armpit, or aforementioned mouth. It appeared I was wrong, he started struggling and wrestling with my molars, did a wee on my uvula and tagged my tongue with some appallingly insensitive graffiti (she is not a "ho!"), so I spit him out onto my gentle waiting palm and proceeded to fire off about a thousands frames of digital love.
Unlike Theresa, Robert doesn’t appear to be sick in any way, so I’ll just hold onto him for long enough to give Claire a good old fashioned scarifying then deposit him in a tree of his choosing.
P.S. Does anyone know how to get Texta™ permanent marker off the skin of one’s tongue or tooth enamel?