Category: General
Slash solo.
So unbelievably good, I nearly pissed my pants. And by nearly I mean, my pants are in the wash now.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEwIRZ9pLCM[/youtube]
Test Assessment Report
This was a triumph.
I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I’m not even angry.
I’m being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we’re out of beta.
We’re releasing on time.
So I’m GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It’s so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there’s Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I’m not you.
I’ve experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I’m doing Science and I’m still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I’m still alive.
While you’re dying I’ll be still alive.
And when you’re dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE.
STILL ALIVE.
Rush Hour 3 (2007)
Yeah, I know. What was I even thinking?
It was the biggest seller at the box office for the last 6 weeks running, and I wanted to see what was going on. Now, I’m not going to say that everyone else in the theatre was an idiot, but let’s say they were easily amused and just leave it at that.
Pro: Some of the music was alright; the stuff in the taxi (and some of the taxi driver’s scenes in general); the outtakes in the credits were funny. The incredibly hot Asian girl sitting next to me. Man, she’d make just sitting in a silent theatre fun.
Con: Everything else. It’s certainly no City Hunter or Drunken Master.
Time for bed.
But before I head off to the land of nod, let’s take a moment to reflect on the night that was. The night that could have been. And my ass falling off a picnic table and ending up sprawled on the ground in someone’s yard at 2am.
Good times, good times.
Perfect Creature (2007)
New Zealand made vampire movie. I was going to say ‘distinctly New Zealand’, but the truth is… well, that it’s not entirely true. Sure, in a market scene we see a kuia selling eels from a barrel, and yes it’s set in a made-up country called Nuovo Zelandia. But. None of the major characters is played by a New Zealander – they’re all from the bloody UK.
Set in a grimy, runny-nosed sweat-house of a dystopian alternate past – one in which genetics/dna was discovered in the 17th century, or thereabouts, which was a lucky thing for the vampires which were discovered around the same time – instead of being feared and hunted out of existence, they were instead recognised as a simple mutation/evolution of normal humans. There’s a certain steampunkness (a grimy version, as opposed to the polished brass and oiled wood kind) about it with steam powered cars existing alongside DNA display screens and stun-gun billy-clubs.
The story is reasonably straightforward, in this universe vampires don’t eat people – non-vampires provide them with blood freely, and seem to like doing it – but then one vampire is infected by a virus that instills the desire to kill and eat people. The other vampires, and some people who happen to be in-the-know, can see that if the knowledge of this gets out, the general population will be unhappy, so they have to stop him.
It features a fair bit of distinctly average CG, and something about either the editing or film transfer process wasn’t quite right, some of the faster moving action is rendered entirely unintelligible.
Althought it misses the mark in several respects, the performances were generally pretty good, and on the whole I found it to be better than I expected. If you’re a New Zealander, you really are kind of obligated to support our fledgling film industry. So go see it.
SkyCity Cinemas – Where Movies PaymentEngineException
Remember, years ago, when booking movies online was still new (coincidentally, about the same time as Pizza Hut started doing their online thing as well), the Village site would fail, and then fail, and then fail, and then you’d just use the phone booking line? Well, it sure was a relief for those days to be done with. Or so I thought. (Naïve, right?)
How useless is that error message? This is debug information, stuff the developer might be able to use to diagnose the problem – but is completely useless for a normal end user. Note, for example, that it doesn’t say ‘your booking didn’t go through, you’ll need to get your tickets some other way, but don’t worry – we won’t be billing your credit card’ at any point.
I’m very excited about PaymentEngine, Stack Trace, and System.Web.UI.Page.RaisePostBackEvent, but would really rather it if you’d just let me book my tickets. kthx.
One of everything.
Sometimes when you’re confronted with a lot of choice, you just have to choose ‘everything’. When you do that and it still fits on your plate? Well, then you know you did the right thing. Definitely the right thing.
Don’t you agree?
Californication (TV, 2007)
If you don’t like Heroes, and you can only find the time to watch one TV show right now, you really, really (I can’t emphasise this strongly enough) MUST make that one show Californication.
David Duchovny in what must be one of the strongest roles I’ve seen in a TV show in a long time. The premise is reasonably simple: writer, living in LA, separated from the mother of his daughter, and his travails in writer’s block, being a dad, wanting his ex back, and getting a hell of a lot of hot L.A. women. It’s funny, cool, smart, mean, sweet, and hot.
There’s a lot of sex. An incredible amount. I don’t want to pretend that’s all there is, because it isn’t – this really is a great show in many ways – but two of my favourite scenes happen to be sex scenes. Forgive me. (Bygones.)
Bookshop Girl: “Are you going to come?”
Hank: “I don’t see why not.”
Bookshop Girl: *punch*… *punch*
Hank: “I don’t think Tom & Katie would approve of what we’re doing right now.”
Hot Scientologist: “Oh God, shut up and fuck me already.”
Hank: “Are you Clear yet?”
Hot Scientologist: “Shut up and fuck me.”
Hank: “You’re one kinky Thetan.” *proceeds to get ass-bumped off the bed, bashes his head, then pukes on a painting*
It’s really, really good.
Ok, so maybe part of why I like it is that I really want a lot of this guy’s lifestyle – and I’m not talking about the easy women here – the lounging around, writing when he can, trying to be a great dad, hanging out with friends drinking, doing bumps off a hookers ass, and so forth.
Anyway, I’m working my way towards some of it. I reckon I’ve nailed the drinking and crying about my broken heart part, not doing quite so well with the successful novels, or movie deals. Walk before you can run, right?
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve woken up on the floor of the lounge, naked and still drunk from the night before.
The Good Guy by Dean Koontz (2007)
I’m not sure what his market is meant to be, perhaps women? Old folk? But I picked this novel up on a whim, and it was alright. 400 very quick pages (some sort of trick with font size or line spacing I think), and an entertaining story.
If you’re only going to read one book this month (time to learn that books make you smart, you illiterate fuck), don’t make it this one, get Gibson’s Spook Country instead (assuming you haven’t that already), but if you like to read, you can do much worse than The Good Guy.