A litre of “genuine kentucky bourbon” that costs $6.99, you have to know that it’s going to be a nightmare, but hey at least it’s usable. Not like those other bourbons, the ones with the unwieldy ‘higher alcohol content’ or ‘quality’.

Who buys this shit? It’s purely for non-functional (or barely-functional) alcoholics, right? Like, the average customer who asks for this stuff also has silver paint around their mouth and nose, and reeks of an eye-watering ammonia-stench, from weeks worth of piss soaking into what remains of their clothing?

Yep, that’s the good stuff.