Books, movies, and ‘stolen’ TV.

Oh, other things I did last week, books and movies and, uh, ‘time shifted’ TV…

On Tuesday we decided to kick it to the cheap showing of Mr & Mrs Smith, I actually kind of enjoyed it, but you know… It’s not exactly the highest art ever put on film. For $4, I’m not going to whine and complain.

However, I went to Land of the Dead on Thursday, and that movie definitely wasn’t worth $15. I think Romero is waaaaayyy stale. His zombies just suck by comparison with other recent movies. I mean, look at how scary those fuckers in the Dawn of the Dead remake were, even the lame Rage infected guys in 28 Days Later were better. Stick your ‘intelligent’ zombies up your arse, FAST zombies are terrifying. Also, good makeup makes a hell of a big difference, it’s not the 1980s, so don’t think you can get away with the same lame-ass shitty effects that got by then.

The characters all do stupid bullshit things, soldiers firing on auto from the hip, instead of aiming and squeezing off quick shots… It’s just stupid. It doesn’t make any sense, and it doesn’t give any credit to the audience. The whole structure of the society they’d put together in the walled city was just fucking stupid. And what idiot pulls wheelies when riding a motorcycle around zombies? The whole thing, it just annoyed me. For these people to have survived as long as they did, that would require that they all be smart and hard, and certainly not reckless.

The acting was great, I thought — except for Hopper — I don’t think you can blame the cast for the direction and the material. Romero just sucks. Haaaarrd. How could that skater guy make his character look like a survivor type, if the first thing he does on being dropped off, is to break open a tiny little wooden shack, go inside, put on headphones loud, and look at the floor? What the hell? Who would do that? Block off visibility completely, then deafen yourself. Awesome. So it was a big susprise when he was attacked and turned? A lame-ass non-surprise, actually.

I like zombie movies, and I was super disappointed. Romero is now officially banned from making any more zombie movies.

However, remakes of his old movies are welcome.

Oh, yeah, I also read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I guess it was pretty good. I’ve got a theory about that whole thing at the end, though.

*SPOILERS*

Dumbeldore isn’t really dead, it was a ruse perpetrated by him and Snape, so now no one will be paying any attention to Dumbeldore while he sneaks around, only to popup right at the end of book 7, helping Harry out with Voldemort.

I also read a Bill Bryson book called A Walk in the Woods, again, I guess it’s kind of good. I couldn’t help the feeling that his friend Katz was way funnier than he was, and indeed that Bryson was actually a really mean and nasty sort of a guy, derision and sarcasm dripping from his spittle flecked maw at every opportunity.

So, two books and two movies. Oh, and some Stargate Atlantis.

I just watched season 2 episode 4 yesterday, and it’s… Pretty crap. You remember how in like season 5 of Stargate SG1, they fell back on that lame old saw of swapping peoples personalities between their bodies? Well, this is like one step up from that. I want them to start using Reed in some really brutal and violent encounters though, he has some real potential.

Oooh, there was also some hot boy on boy action when Dr McKay kissed Dr Beckett. By hot, I mean tight lipped and dry. It might have been more startling if there’d been some open mouthed lip grinding, ideally with slippery slithering tongues and stuff, but no.

In other news, and lastly, I haven’t caught a single episode of the new Dr Who since I downloaded that first episode. Another TV series that’d do way better with me on the team. Blackballing bastards.

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